Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
