You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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