i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize