some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
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