Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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