My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
