I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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