I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We left an ass print on the piano.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
third nipple confirmed
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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