Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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