I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
