i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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