STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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