Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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