Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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