he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
