Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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