apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
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