Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Randomize
