East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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