chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
