Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
