She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
