Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
