You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Randomize
