we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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