No stitches, just platelets and will power
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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