I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
You smell like stripper and shame
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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