Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
420 ftw
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
