ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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