If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
2020 sucks, I want a refund
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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