i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
The power of my boobs compel you
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
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