if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
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