Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
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