Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
