Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
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