I want to walk on stilts...naked
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
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