he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
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