shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
40s are totally the cure
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
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