Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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