Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
