and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
