i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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