it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
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