I understand why you refuse to be sober now
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
