So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
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