i dedicated my morning wood to you.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
