He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Randomize
