I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
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