drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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