Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
either way he was missing a nipple.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
