farters have to be the big spoon...
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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