Kiss
Puke
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Randomize
