He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Define "chronic" masturbator.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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