Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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