I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize