he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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