UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
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I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
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Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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